Finding Grace and Beauty in The Cross

Although, I have shared this in a couple of other previous blogs, still there are people who have not yet heard the news of what happened with me and my daughters following the birth of my second daughter, Grace. And since I have been thanking people for their prayers for us and asking for continued prayers... I'd like to share again, what has happened and where we are with it all today.

It's a long story, though, to make it shorter... what happened is that because I have a chemical imbalance that I have to take medication for and is very manageable and livable...  I ended up having post partun depression, which I am pre-disposed to having after the birth because of my chemical imbalance.

75% of women after giving birth, experience what is called, "the baby blues," and periods of sadness, tiredness, inadequacy and so on.  This is considered to be quite, "normal," however, if it persists for it can become post partum depression, or could have already been post partum depression, without the mother ever even knowing it.

Many women end up having postpartum depression after the birth of a baby, and despite what they might feel at the time, (like they will never overcome it and get better), they do and even up recovering completely from it and going on to live happy, healthy, blessed lives with their children, especially with God's Love, Grace and continuous Guidance... becoming the wonderful mothers they hoped they would be!

I experienced postpartum depression after the birth of both of my daughters, which manifested itself in the form of me becoming very exhausted from lack of sleep, staying up till all hours of the night with Baby Grace, who we found out later had gastrual reflux and cried and cried in pain and was much of the time inconsolable. This, because of my postpartum depression, made me feel very inadequate as a mother, feeling like I wasn't doing a very good job at consoling my daughter, and led me in a downward spiral of helplessness.

Some of the contributors to PPD are an unstable relationship, lack of support from a spouse, a difficult pregnancy, concern about the baby's health before and after birth, and exhaustion, as well as already being pre-disposed to having it because of a chemical imbalance, and also you are most likely to get it if you have already had it with a precious pregnancy. These are just a few of the contributors to PPD and it is no wonder that I experienced it because I had them all.

Aside from me becoming physically exhausted, (even having 2 complete days of vertigo that was so bad where I could barely walk and was very scary), my PPD also manifested itself in the form of anxiety which is also another common contributor, and unique to my experience with it, I became after the birth of both of my daughters, very over-protective of them, feeling like they were in danger and I had to protect them.

I had to be hospitalized both times to get the chemicals in my body balanced out, and while I was in the hospital after giving birth to my daughter, Grace, trying to heal from all the trauma I was dealing with before and after her birth, someone called the DCFS, (Department of Children and Family Services), and made a false allegation about me saying that I was abusing my children. Thus, they opened an investigation, and ended up placing my two daughters in foster care with complete strangers, with them being in two  separate homes.

It's been quite devastating on the whole family, though, most especially on me and my daughters. We have been praying that they will return home soon and asking others to join us in prayer... and hopefully, God willing they will return home this Monday. And then the Healing begins... especially for my precious daughters, for me and for our entire family... (for we have all been effected by this in varying degrees). God's Love is great and so is His Grace and it has been getting us all through this horrible experience to a brighter, healthier, happier "future full of Hope," that He has promised us!

I don't know exactly why this had to happen, why God allowed me to get sick with PPD or why He has even allowed me to have a chemical imbalance that pre-disoed me to having it in the first place.  All I know is, it's a part of my cross and in the cross is found great Grace, Beauty, Love, Joy and Hope if we but seek to find it there.

Perhaps, God has allowed all of this to happen in my life because He knows that with His continued Love and Grace and Hope I will continue to get through and overcome this trial as I have so many others in the past... and perhaps, this time... it's finally time to stop feeling ashamed of the cross He's given me and keeping it locked up inside of me as a secret only few have known about... but to lift it high and truly allow the radiant Light of His Glory to come shining through and from within me.

For, "It is no longer I, but Christ Who lives within me," Galatians 2:20 and how He longs and Loves to show His Glory through through those who live for Him and have suffered as they have lived their lives through, with, and in Him! Maybe, in so doing, I just might even be able to inspire others to do the same... to lift high the cross God has given them, (no matter what it might be), and allow God's radiant Light to shine through it and from within them... for their is great Beauty to behold in the Cross!

God's Grace has been carrying me and my daughters through this and will lead us back to each other very soon, so we can continue the beautiful new lives God intends for us to live. I just continue to pray that throughout all of this God Will be glorified and with thriumpth as He always does and that others will come to believe in Him and have even stronger Faith then before because of it!

Thank you for your ongoing prayers.  Many Blessings of God's Love, Grace and Goodness be with you and your family for your kindness! 

Let Us Be Like Sonflowers!

                                                                  
Let us be like beautiful sunflowers... for we belong to the Son! ♥ :)

Let us be like beautiful sunflowers... forever growing upwards... with our faces always reaching towards and facing the sun... The Son of God, that is... who saves us, Loves us, nutures us, heals us and gives us new Life eternal, and ALL we ever need in Him! May God's glorious face ever shine upon us as we grow closer and closer to Him! :) ♥

                                           
                                                          So Keep on looking up!!! 

My Soul Proclaims The Greatness of The Lord

 Mary's Magnificat... (Her Song, And Mine Too)

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,

my spirit rejoices in God my Savior

for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

From this day all generations will call me blessed:

the Almighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him

in every generation.

He has shown the strength of his arm,

he has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,

and has lifted up the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel

for he has remembered his promise of mercy,

the promise he made to our fathers,

to Abraham and his children for ever.

Wow!!! What Beauty and depth of Spirit! What Love pours out from the soul of Our Blessed Mother upon hearing the Good News that She was with child and not just any child, but God's very, own Son, Jesus, Who would soon be born with the greatest destiny and purpose of all... to save the world and all mankind from the darkness of sin and death and with the gift of God's Mercy, Forgiveness, Love and His Grace...give Light and the gift of Salvation to all who believe in Him and give their hearts to Him! For Jesus came to give us Life, everlasting... so that our Joy may be complete! How full Mary's life must have felt, most especially on this blessed day... it is clear that her Joy was the most complete it had ever been in Her entire life up until that day, as She rejoiced in beautiful, spontaneous song!  :)

I can't help but say that this is how I felt with both of my pregnancies with my sweet daughter, Audrey and Grace!  Both times, upon hearing that I too was with child and that like Mary was called by God to be a mother, I too was called by God to be a mother as well.  The blessing I felt from God on both of those very special days that I will always remember and treasure deeply is beyond what I even have words to describe. With Audrey, on that first day I found out she was growing in my womb, I too like Mary was inspired to sing a new song of Joy, gratitude and praise to our God who brought my sweet daughter into being. It is my canticle, my own fiat, and I even recorded it that day and when I found out that I was pregnant with Grace, I also felt the exact same way... my heart was filled, once again, with so much Joy... that like with Audrey, truly my cup overflowed and still does to this day.

One of my favorite lines from that song goes like this:  "Forever life has changed, and only for the greater, God's Glory and God's Beauty, arising in my soul, with secrets far too deep, and sacred to even whisper, I hold and I cherish all this beauty in my heart!"  and then it goes on to say... "May my life be always an endless prayer in motion, of praise and thanksgiving to my God, Who's saved my life, and blessed me so deep, that my cup it runnith over, only Goodness and sweet Love will be with me in my life."

It's such a blessed gift to be called by God to be a mother and as much as I will always continue to cherish both my pregnancy journeys... just as much, if not more do I strive with all that I am to be as present as I possibly can to my daughters in every which way... and to cherish each and every, new and precious moment that God gives us... holding the and keeping them saving them and protecting them deep within the depths of my heart where they cannot be touched or corrupted, nor stolen from another. They were made by me and my daughters and God, of course... and they belong to us... for us to enjoy always and forever!!!  :)

I hope and pray that every mother feels likewise and I continue to pray for all mothers where ever they are in their journey of motherhood for God's great blessing to be upon them in the most special way! May the Christ Child bless, protect and be with them and their precious children as well! :)

A Future Full of Hope... Always!

Above is one of my all time favorite verses found in Sacred Scripture.  It was given to me from someone as a kind of gift many years ago when I was just entering my young adulthood... and it became a beautiful, glowing golden promise from God to me that has continued to prove true in my life over and over again!  :) 

In my life, I am forever running towards this precious promise of Hope God has given me and us all... and one might ask me, if they simply look at my life from the outside, "Well, have you reached your future full of Hope yet?"  The answer is... "Yes!" and also, "I'm still getting there!"

As Christians, living on this Earth, we are forever on a journey Homeward to our Heavenly Home and we are called by God to keep our Faith in Him strong whatever may come our way... and run the race before us to Him.  As we do so, we continue to reach and reach again this, "Future full of Hope," that God has for us! It is forever changing for the better and transforming to fit our needs as we grow in our Faith and life's journey.

God gives us all the gifts we need to make it through our lives, back to Him, in the most Graceful way possible! Life can be so challenging at times and among the other spiritual gifts that God gives us to endure all the trials we face in our lifetime, such as, Faith and Love... God gives us too, the gift of Hope to lift us high above, on the wings of eagles to help us realize His promises for us and His Loving will for us.

If we want to make it through life, and reach the finish line... and God, we've gotta have an endless amount of Hope in our hearts.... Hope Always, and in impossible situations, with the gift of Hope strong and bright in our hearts... they can be turned around and transformed... and the miraculous can take place! 

So keep on Hoping.... and asking God to fill your heart with more and more Hope and dare to believe in the beautiful, golden promise above that God has for us all! Your life will be blessed abundantly because of it!  :)

Wishing you a beautiful, Hope-filled day!  :)

Feed Your Faith And Be Not Afraid

I just recently discovered this saying... and I really Love it! I think it's perfect for all people, and especially mothers.  Being a mother of one child or ten children... we have a lot on our minds when it comes to caring for our children, and especially when it comes to their safety.  As they grow up, there are always new challenges that will entice us to worry and even become fearful if we let them, but, I encourage you not to let them make you worry or be afraid... but to turn to your Faith in God and pray all the more!  Trust in Him, like never before... and He will give you all you need, a blessed assurance of His divine providence and protection of your children... and as you continue to trust in Him more and more... more and more, He will continue to bless you and your family in endless, new ways!  So, go ahead mothers, especially, but everyone really..."Feed your Faith! Your fears will starve and melt away!"

Be not afraid... and move onward on the beautiful path of Faith, Hope & Love God has so lovingly set before you!  And remember: He Loves you with an Everlasting Love... and always will!   :)

A Mission of Purity

Things are going very well in my life now... my two, beautiful daughters continue to bless and fill my life with the greatest Joy & Love and I continue to thank God each and every day for the gifts and blessings of them!

Throughout my pregnancy journey with both my daughters, I used to love to refer to them as, beautiful roses growing and blooming in my womb!  Now that they are born, continuing to grow every moment of every day... I like to continue seeing them as beautiful roses... and pure white ones as that.

The color white as we know represents purity... and holiness as well. When we see or think of a pure white lamb, we are reminded of the One True and Holy Lamb of God, Jesus Christ Who suffered, died and gave up His life... and ultimately and victoriously rose from the dead to take away all our sins, and wipe away from each of us the stains of our sins, making us new again, and pure and holy, like Him and enjoy new  Life everlasting in our Heavenly Home with Him!

That is why I like to think of my precious daughters, envision them as beautiful, pure white blooming roses.  I really like to envision all children this way because pure and holy is what they truly are and it's our mission and obligation as parents and a society as a whole to keep them that way, helping them to stay that way always! :)  I really do believe this and it's what I intend on continuing to do!

In an impure world, such as ours, this mission of which I speak of creates quite a challenge to say the least, though, I am up for it and I hope and pray that others will join me in this mission of helping to keep our children pure... and one of the greatest ways of doing this is by keeping ourselves pure as well.

No matter who we are, where we come from, we all have a story, don't we? None of us are perfect, still, God calls us to strive to be perfect.... and a sure way to strive to the road of perfection, in my opinion, is by striving to be pure, like Jesus in all ways.  God Loves us all so much, endlessly... and there is no sin or mistake too great that His Love and Mercy cannot forgive, take away and heal. God longs for us to return to Him time and time again for renewal and purification... and true miracles happen in our lives when we do.

If you haven't already... I hope and pray you will join me and countless others in the mission of purity... keeping ourselves and children pure! Some might say this it's a "Mission Impossible," though, we of great Faith know better... that, "With God All Things Are Possible!"  :)

A Very Happy Mothers Day Indeed

Today is Mother's Day... and I'd like to wish all mothers... (maternal and spiritual alike), a very Happy & Blessed Mother's Day! :)

It's a very special Mother's Day for me, especially now that my beautiful and precious, new daughter has been born.  Grace Emma was born two weeks ago on April 28, 2012 and it was a very happy, healthy, Joy-filled, Love-filled, Grace-filled, Hope, filled, Faith-filled birth that only lasted 2 hours.

God is truly an amazing, faithful, awesome God! Although my pregnancy was one that was high risk... I continued to pray throughout it for God's strength, Grace, wisdom and Hope to see me through... (and His unconditional Love as well!).  God blessed me with those gifts and heard and answered my prayers and the prayers of others. With my pregnancy being as high risk as it was, nobody, (not even my doctors thought that I'd be able to carry my daughter to a full term delivery... yet, I continued to pray and have lots of Faith that He would... (knowing that the closer we got to a full term birth, the healthier my daughter would be!).  Sure enough, God showed his beautiful faithfulness.. and brought us through to a full term delivery, as I gave birth to my daughter, Grace, in the early evening, 1 day before my due date!  :)

As the popular saying goes... "God is Good... ALL the time!" And yet, when He clearly hears and answers of heart's deepest prayers... bestowing upon us such a blessed gift... a true miracle... we are truly ever so aware of His Goodness, His Love, His Faithfulness and Grace!  I am just so filled with JOY that my precious, new daughter was born happy and healthy and is doing very well! She's such an amazing blessing to me and my family... (as all children are!), and I just cannot thank God enough for the gift and miracle of her!

Like Mary, Our Blessed Mother... "My soul rejoices and magnifies our Gracious Lord... for He has been so Good to me!"  I praise Him with my song and with all my being!  :)

Today, as we take special time to celebrate the gift of mothers... I am so thankful that God has chosen me and called me to be a mother as well!  I am among the ranks of the most amazing, life-giving, self-giving, beautiful, nurturing and blessed women in the world... and I wouldn't trade my vocation as a mother for anything in the world!  :)

I plan to continue celebrating the gift and vocation of motherhood, (for all mothers), not just today... but each and every day! And I continue to pray for all mothers and their families that they will be truly blessed by God's amazing Love & Grace in every single way!  :)