Sunday, December 4, 2011

Breath of Heaven... (Mary's Song)

Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)
Written By Amy Grant

I have traveled
Many moonless night
Cold and Weary
With a babe inside
And I wonder
What I've done
Holy Father
You have come
Chosen me now
To carry your Son

I am waiting
in a silent prayer
I am frightened
by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now

Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holyness
For your holy Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer-all I am
For the mercy-of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

A friend of mine let me know about this beautiful Advent/Christmas song several years ago. She told me how much she knew I was going to love it and I did, though, now even more so, as a mother, and an expectant mother, once again, this Advent season... this time with a high risk pregnancy.

I can really relate this song at this time in my life... and it has become one of my heart's prayers to God for me and my precious, little one growing my womb. When I think about the journey that Mary and Joseph took to Bethlehem to escape the evil plan that King Harod was carrying out, killing all of the infant boys, I think of the fear and danger she must of felt... as she continually prayed to God to keep her and Joseph and the precious babe in Her womb safe.

I feel the same as I now realize more fully the true risk of my pregnancy. Last night, the nurse came to my parents home to give me my first progesterone shot and to also teach me how to make it through the remainder of my pregnancy, as safely as possible, to hopefully ensure a very safe and healthy pregnancy and full term delivery for my new daughter.

I was very glad that the nurse was here with me last night to give me this first shot of progesterone which should help greatly in preventing my uterus from having anymore premature contractions, which would then bring on premature labor and cause me cervix to open even more. What I was very surprised to hear, however, though, not upset by is the fact that my nurse told me that in order to ensure the safest and healthiest pregnancy possible that I will have to remain on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy... that's another 4 and 1/2 months. I was not entirely upset by this news, a little disappointed I admit though, that I will have to miss singing with our choir at church during the Advent,Christmas, and Easter season every Sunday, as well as singing in our Christmas concert and another special Mass that I was to cantor... though, I feel overall... if this is what I have to do to save the live of my helpless baby in my womb...then I will do it gladly, joyfully, gratefully, no ifs, ands, buts about it!

And so, here I am on the couch, and it's where I will be pretty much spending the remainder of my pregnancy and I consider this a true Gift and blessing from God. It's a Gift to bond with my daughter in my womb, in an even greater way and to also bond with my daughter, Audrey and she with her sister... and even though I cannot take her to our Mommy & Me classes like I was before this happened and I may not be able to walk around and dance with her and run after her for the time being and will certainly again, soon, after my daughter is born... I can still read to her, color with her, sing with her, pray with her and talk to her about God and about her little, baby sister on the way... (and so much more!).

I can also devote much more time to my prayer life than I was able to before, once again, finding the time to do more contemplative prayer, (which I love), and also intercessory prayer... to pray for the needs of others. I believe that God has a special plan for my life and that me having to be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy is a great part of it, (as strange as that might seem). My heart is now open, more than ever before to listen to God's gentle and Loving voice and hear the Good News of Hope that I know He has for my life and the lives of us all! :)

And lastly, for now... the best news about last night's visit with my nurse is that my little baby girl seems to be doing very well! One of the things my nurse will be doing each week when she comes to visit me is checking my vitals and also my baby's heartbeat. So here I was last night, lying on my back on the couch, with my parents and Audrey and my nurse gathered around me. She had the ultra-sound device rolling around on my tummy so as to try and detect my baby's heartbeat. Everyone was very quiet and listening intently to hear it. At first, there was a lot of other noise that the device was picking up, but not my Baby's heartbeat. Then... some more noise, and Mama's heart beat, but not yet Baby's... and finally... there was my daughter's strong heartbeat, beating so beautifully and rhythmically, and Audrey immediately began to dance to it with the greatest, biggest smile on her face and light in her eyes. It was the sweetest and cutest thing I think I've ever seen! :) It blessed all of our hearts and even brought tears to my eyes! It was a great sign of HOPE... and with great HOPE I move forward into the next part of my pregnancy journey... and look forward to all the many, special blessings that God has in store for me.

Please be assured that I am keeping you and your families in my daily prayers... and as always I greatly appreciate and welcome yours for me, my new baby and family!

Many Advent Blessings of JOY be upon us all! :)

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